Once again, I am being nice

Isn't she lovely? This is a great photo of Kelly. She may be an idiot, but she sure is cute.

Kelly takes the children on an adventure

"Okay Kids! We are headed downtown. I met a guy that loves

children. Have you all had that sip of decongestant I gave you?

Who cares what it tastes like! It will make you calm... you want

this guy to like us right? I may have a couple drinks, but don't

worry! Anyone can drive this car! Evan, you have a motorized

toy vehicle right? Well, you can drive home. Don't have any more

of the medicine Evan! No more sips! Okay, let's go hunt that man!"

Gentle Kelly~ taking kids to the beach

"GD Kids! I told you to STAY IN THE CIRCLE! I drew you a circle, right in the sand! Stand in it! What is so complicated about that? Jeeeez! When I was a kid, if an adult told you to stand in a circle... you STOOD in the Circle!"
"Listen kids! I told you to stand like little rangers.. like in the army... not Power Rangers- Evan! No pointing Sophie! Look at Henry and Dalton, they are the only two who are LISTENING! Do you want ice cream?? DO YOU? Well line up! Stop looking at me! When I was a kid, we just did as we were told! If an adult told us to line up... we LINED up! Jesus!"

Meggan, Kelly and The Grimmy's!

Josh stopped by Kelly's Christmas party, in a vain attempt to get the girls to attend mass with him.

Josh: " Any minute, I am going to apply--gentle--pressure..."

Josh: "We have girls in a hotel room! Quick! Take a picture!"

Meggan is really holding Joel up

Are you there God? It's me, Kelly.....

Are you there God? It's me, Kelly.
I am so scared God. I am afraid that I will be punished for killing so many mice. I have already noticed that my luck is changing. Have you been listening to the Buddhists? I had to kill the mice God, I was afraid they would climb in my bed when I was sleeping. I know that you have helped me in past. In 6th grade, the "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" thing REALLY worked. (And I mean Really!) I am hoping that you will give me a break. I will try not to kill any more mice. Maybe you could tell them to stop coming in my house, or if they do, to keep a low profile. Or, you could cure my fear of mice and all the nasty germs they carry. I have noticed that my bowling game is slipping, my bra is too tight, I have tripped in public on at least 3 occasions, and I actually had a bad hair day this weekend. That was when I knew I was in trouble. Please, don't take my fabulous hair from me, or my breasts. I am trying to be a good girl God. I really am. I have to go now, and Google information about mice, to see if I can alleviate some of my fear. I also have to investigate a cute bus driver I saw in Syracuse over the weekend. I know, I have a Google gift. There are few in the world who could track a random driver via Google, but I can! Thanks for listening God! Thanks for my breasts, and I hope, my continued success with my hair. I will try to be kind to the mice.
Sincerely,
Kelly

Friend~ The small town sitcom

On this weeks episode of "Friend"....

Kelly tries desperately to enjoy the quiet of her home. She murders mice and other vermin. She attempts to find love on the Internet, but realizes that she has stumbled onto a cross-dressers dating site. She is bummed out that she only got one date, but will enjoy the fashion advice for years to come. Cute Kelly also has a minor car accident, and manages to get a date with the investigating officer... He looks familiar, but she can't put her finger on where she knows him from... After a few hours, and some back seat investigating in the dimly lit Jeep, she remembers... The cross-dressing web site. As always, the cheerful sitcom will leave your belly full of laughter, your heart filled with hope, and your brain overflowing with images of cleavage. That mad cap Kelly! Who knows what happen will next!

Mixology

This is Kelly's shirt. I can prove this shirt belongs to Kelly, because I bought it for her birthday. This is Meggan, mixing up drinks for one of Kelly's parties. Meggan used to have the same shirt. I guess they were making sure that they would find at least one party guest attractive.

They put 3 gallon jugs of vodka in that 5 gallon container. And then, Kelly wonders why~

1. She starts her party out with 75 martini glasses, but by midnight, there is at least one broken every 4 minutes.

2.Everyone dances at Kelly's parties..

Do she and Meggan really think it is due to their "amazing play list"?

3. At 10 pm, everyone at Kelly's party cannot believe how young, hot and fabulous Everyone is!

4. All guests at Kelly's parties think they CAN dance.
5. She can never identify everyone that is sleeping on her floor the next morning.

6. She gave her cousin her phone number?!!

7. She wrote a poem about how much she loves Josh on her very own bathroom wall, with a sharpie.

8. Her underwear are in the backseat of her car, and her car is at the Legion.

9. She throws parties..

For Sarah Jean...

Kelly has been behaving very well lately. I got some excellent video of she and Teresa singing a Pearl Jam song after our book club meeting on Friday. However, it was on Kelly's camera. After a couple failed attempts at procuring the footage, I am giving up. I will be sure to carry my camera with me from now on, and I will eventually capture Kelly on video. And so, since I have nothing to offer about Kelly for today, I am going to post another Evan dance video. This is a portion of his interpretation of a song from High School Musical 2. This is for you Sarah!

Under the influence of KELLY

Mild mannered Guidance Counselor by day~
Loving mother, runner, tax payer, friend, wife~
But once she listens to Kelly...

Kelly and the apron

Kelly~ I would like for you to stop harassing my husband. The night you took this photograph, a sacred night- Christmas Eve, you asked him repeatedly to remove his shirt. You continually yelled, heckled and coerced him into walking around in JUST his apron. Yes, it was funny. Yes, he looked pretty good in just the apron... However, since then, my mother cannot stop staring at Brian's lap. My father calls him "power thighs", and Meggan has asked him three times where he got the scar on his buttocks. Evan saw a poster advertising the Chippendale Dancers at the store, and now thinks Daddy was on "tour" with them.. in Afghanistan. Eric has called Brian 86 times since Christmas, and Alan just laughs whenever he sees him. I personally find myself feeling rather sensual whenever I see an apron... and as for my lady neighbors, well, they too phone "Bri" and ask him for help at their homes.. at least twice a week. I don't think he will ever get out the wine cork he sat on out. You have changed the way people look at Brian. You, in your reckless, encouraging way, forced my husband into hanging out in a Santa apron for an entire evening. I don't know if my family interaction will ever be the same. Next year, we will not be cooking anything for Christmas Eve. Guests can eat before they come, and if anyone looks at Brian in a creepy or seductive manner, they will be asked to leave the house. I know how you operate Kelly, so why don't you just refrain from attending for a year or two. We need time. We need to heal.

Advice for the kids

"Now Kids... I am going to tell you some things about life. First of all, when you cross the street- you don't always have to look both ways. The key is to run very fast. Look one way and then just run! As you enter the middle of the road or street, then glance the other way... Speed is the key... Your Mom will tell you differently, but look at me, this is what I do, and I have only been hit by a car once. Also, adults will tell you that studying is very important. It sort of is, but I will share with you one of the keys to having a good life. Hair! Yes children, your hair....."

Where is Ed?

No comments from Ed! I am surprised. I guess Ed, being a fan and supporter of Kelly, is afraid to read this blog. Ed? Afraid? Of Kelly? Little does Ed know, Kelly reads this blog. She can't really help it, as I phone her every time I create what I perceive to be an especially amusing post. The calls generally go like this-

Kelly: "Hello?"

Kathy: "Hee hee ha haa haa heee! snort"

Kelly: "Are you laughing or crying?"

Kathy: "Laughing! Haa hee hee he haaa" "L oooo he hee k at the blog..."

Kelly: "okay"

Usually, Kelly will laugh out loud. A few times she has not, and then I quickly edit and redirect my creativity towards the post in question. Kelly does not mind this blog... Is it because she has an amazing sense of humor? Or, because she is an idiot? Well, at least she is not afraid, like Ed.

Perfect

These posters were from Meggan's classroom. We decided to hang them up at Kelly's house. I don't think she got the message. She just kept saying that the Kelly in the picture did not have red hair.

This guy is thinking~"It's Tree City, Not Bush City...Why is she here?"

What would your shirt say?

This is a photograph of Kelly and Russ. Russ is wearing one of his favorite shirts... It says "Reckless Kelly". There are lots of men around, and they all seem to wear shirts. I was wondering, if you were wearing a shirt that is reflective of Kelly what would it say?
Thus far, I have seen the a fore mentioned "Reckless Kelly", and "I spent the weekend at Kelly Land and I all I have to show for it is this lousy t-shirt!" Also, a photograph of Kelly superimposed on a shirt front with the heading "What Would Kelly Do?" and on the back it says "Don't!" ~ If you have an idea for a shirt about Kelly, I would really love to hear it!

Divide and Conquer???

It is a well known fact that Kelly and Meggan are very good friends. They often socialize together. They share feelings, thoughts and plans. Kelly may be an idiot, but she has lots of friends. I was looking through my collection of stolen-from-Kelly's-blog photographs tonight and stumbled upon a troubling discovery.

What is up with Kelly and Ed?

Does Meggan act as Kelly's wing man, and separate Ed and Sharon whenever they are in the presence of Kelly? In all the photographs that I have found, Kelly is alone with Ed. Meanwhile, Meggan is always with Sharon. This is disturbing. Perhaps on some level, subconsciously maybe, I have noticed the strange interaction. Have Meggan and Kelly planned this out before they see Ed and Sharon? Is it intentional? Is there more to this story? Is Kelly a little obsessed with Ed? Or could it be Meggan... obsessed with Sharon?

Good with kids

I asked Kelly if she would assist in making Evan's birthday cake last year. Not only did she agree, but she invited Evan over to frost it.
Below is what she was wearing when we arrived.... She said Evan could stay and frost for a while. The hat still looked heavy, so I opted to leave Evan with Kelly for an hour. What can I say, babysitters are hard to come by!

A Good, Good Friend

How many people do you know that are so thoughtful and considerate that they would leave food out for you to eat in the morning.... right in your bed! Most hosts will expect you to go down to the kitchen, or as in this case- meet you in the hotel restaurant for a breakfast buffet. Kelly, being the caring soul that she is, put Christy to bed with her pizza. She knew Christy might wake up in the morning and be hungry.... Plus, Christy did not have to sleep alone!

More Sincerity

I love Kelly for many reasons, which I stated earlier today. Other people appreciate her for different reasons....

Sincerity

I have been having a lot of fun poking fun at Kelly for the past few weeks. I was informed this weekend, that a few people thought Kelly had an enemy, who had created this blog, as some sort of retaliatory move. I must inform everyone, that I truly do love Kelly. I appreciate so many things about her. I decided, that although this may be boring, I would create a post about all of things that I treasure about my friend.

This photo was taken last year at my Birthday party. Kelly and Meggan did not know what to get me, so they gave me a "day with them". It was a thoughtful gift, and a few months later when I collected, I appreciated spending time with them. Probably not as much as they thought I would, as their egos are slightly inflated regarding how much fun they actually are. In any case, on the night of my actual birthday, I told Kelly that if she sang for me using the microphone, I would accept this as a wonderful gift. She did. She danced, sang, and made me a cake. She rocked the house, and made me laugh so much that my stomach hurt. That is a true friend... Kelly was one of the biggest supporters of Evan and I, while Brian was deployed last year. She listened to me, helped me move, made me laugh, kept me going, and gave me guidance when I was having any sort of emotional quandary. (I could not always take her advice, because "GUINNESS" is not necessarily the answer for a full time Mother.) So, I am taking a few moments to be sincere. To remind myself, and everyone around me, how lucky we are to have Kelly in our lives. No one makes me laugh more... Very few people are blessed with all the gifts Kelly has~ charm, energy, wit, humor, fabulous hair, compassion, a great heart, faith and the ability to embrace life~ every day. I love you Kelly!

Inspired or Wired?

I have created so many posts this morning. I will stop for the next 24 hours. I guess I am inspired today, or the coffee that I purchased that said "half the caffeine" really had the regular amount.

Force

I like to dance.

I will admit, I am not a very

good dancer. Still, I dance.

However, sometimes

I am not in the mood. Kelly

does not like if when you

refrain from dancing at her

house. The night this particular

photo was taken, I went to Kelly's

house to learn more about cooking.

She promised us that she would teach us to create an amazing vegetarian dinner.

This was a guise. As soon as we unsuspecting ladies arrived, Kelly got out the flip cup table cover, and a squirt gun, and ordered us to play. We were all afraid. After all, who knows what Kelly would put in a squirt gun. Bleach? Ammonia? Urine?

So, under duress, we played. Then she yelled "It is time to dance!" Everyone started dancing. Except me. I tried to leave. Kelly caught me, and taped me to her. Yes, she taped me to her. She used her freakishly strong legs, and held me, and wrapped tape all around us. Then, she led me to the dance floor. Yes, I danced. I was afraid.

I don't know if I will ever get over the trauma of being taped to Kelly, and flung around like a rag doll.

This had only happened to me one other time, and it involved a money-making scheme, the promise of some new breasts and an old prom date. I won't go into details, because this blog is called kellyisanidiot, not kathyisanidiot.

Very Clean House

Most of us are aware that Kelly is a Clean Freak!

This was hanging outside her back door. I guess she found a new way to let the world know that her house is sanitary.

Vito's Dancing Fear

Vito attended the Mayor's Ball with Kelly last year. During the pre-pre-cocktail hour at Kelly's house, Vito told Kelly that he was a little nervous about attending the ball. He said that he was having an off night.... Usually, he felt the funk, had the jam, was filled with the music. However, on this particular evening, he was not feeling the rhythm.

Kelly told him "Not feeling the rhythm? That's okay! Feel my ass instead."

So he did.

Interprative Dance~ Encouraged by Kelly

Dancing and encouraging others to do so as well is an important aspect of Kelly's idiocy...
She leads us, sometimes astray~ There is a lot to explore, let us begin....

Eric and Kelly~
Adding some spice and danger to their rendition of "The Safety Dance"
There are so many things going
on in this that are not safe! Unsafe sexual innuendo!
Who dances with wine in their hands?
Holding a partner with a tie and your mouth? Not something I expected from either of these two... in public.





Kelly dancing-
surprisingly, to Dan Hill's touching ballad~

"Sometimes when we touch
The Honesty sssss too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesssssssssssss"

This was the last company Christmas party that included music and dancing.





Kelly
encouraged
Becky to go for it
during
the playing of
"Dancing With Myself".

She was.

A drawback to spending so much time without pants

Kelly forgets that she

IS

wearing pants.

Kelly and Eric and Jen~ Their wedding cake

"Hey Guys... Look at the cake I made! Is it not beautiful? Whats the hurry? I know you were dancing but LOOK AT THIS CAKE! I made it all by myself, and I drove it all the way here... Look at the flowers! We should cut it and feed it to each other.... Careful! I might smash some into your face Eric! Hee-hee hee... This is so fun... Our wedding cake! After we cut the cake, we can go dance together, and then you can make a toast~ to me, and the cake!"

Vito and The Magic Mirror

Vito:


I hold this up, so when Kelly looks at it, she thinks it is a mirror....
She glances in, and
Can See, For Once~

What it looks like to be FABULOUS!

Aldo Nova~ With a Visual

Kelly and I were talking on the phone the other night, and the subject of Aldo Nova and the song "Fantasy" came up. She said she was going to put it on her blog. She mocked me and said that I probably did not know how to upload video yet. Lying on my bed, I told her that I did, and was already at the computer, finding Aldo Nova and putting it on kellyisanidiot.blogspot! I even tapped my fingers against the phone, asking Kelly if she could hear the typing. "Ha!" She yelled in response, "I beat you! I already posted it!" I continued to lounge, and said, "Kelly, you are so speedy, and no match for me..."

Later, Evan and I checked out the blog. We listened to a little of the classic tune, Fantasy. Evan loved it! He was jamming out so much, that I decided, if Evan was agreeable, to video tape his air guitaring. I forgot during the taping, that he is in the one room in my house which is a disaster! It is our guest room/office. The ironing board is out, various papers scattered- from my classes, and also due to the fact that tax season is coming up. Also, random laundry and junk, junk, junk.... Oh well! I have decided to post it anyway. Judge me if you will~ I have a "stuffing room". I, apparently come by it genetically, and have managed to go into remission on occasion, but this one room always returns to disarray. So, watch Evan's Aldo Nova jam- But, Please, don't judge me!

Dickey~ Captured on film

Dear Kelly,

I am sort of mad at you. Last week, at your party, you made me look like an idiot. First of all, I was hanging out, and taller than that dude you took a photo of me with. You told him to stand on a chair, so that he appeared to be taller than me. Secondly, I was having a rocking hair day. My part was concise and my hair was shiny. You told me I needed to put on a hat.

Thirdly, I showed that short dude a finger pose, so he could look cool in the picture. We were doing it in unison, in tandem man. I had accepted the whole chair thing, and the hat thing.. fine, some guys need a little help when standing by the Dick Man--- so I was fine with it, all of it. But, then, right when you were about to take the picture, you just had to yell out- "Dickey, How old are you? " Just to confuse me. You knew I would feel compelled to answer. Click, you took the picture. Hat, chair, click - F. I am not very happy with you. I just wanted you to know that.

Sincerely,

Dickey

Kelly helps Sarah learn to pose for photos! Before and After Shots

Kelly decided that Sarah Jean needed some help posing for photos. She informed her she needed some work. Kelly gave Sarah some advice. After a difficult afternoon practicing, Sarah had a new outlook on presenting herself for photographs.

Ring-Ring~ Sarah: "Hello"

Kelly: "Hi Sarah! Have you been practicing? I will probably take pictures tonight, and I really don't want you to look like an idiot anymore!"

Sarah: "Oh Kelly, I am ready! My Mom says I look stupid in the positions you told me to pose in, but I know you are a good friend, and she is just being old fashioned!" "I am ready! See you tonight!"

Kelly: "Okay, but use my advice, and don't act like an idiot!"

Clarification

There is no splinter group. There are no haters.

I love you Kelly, and am only having a little fun! Kelly, you know this...

You are also getting a little cocky about your hair. Your hair is not perfect. I have chosen a few reminders. There are many more. Your hair, like you, is subject to mood swings~