Kellyisanidiot

Striving to be more human....

2008-03-05T11:19:00.003-05:00

We must all support and respect Kelly's recent decision to focus more on "human connection".

She is striving to spend more time in the "real world" and not be overrun by technology and texting. I admire her stand, and embrace the battle against spiritual disconnectedness in the world. It is something we should all think about. Giving up the devices of ease for more human contact will not be easy. I have faith that Kelly will be able to diminish the amount of texts she sends, web pages she subscribes to, emails she writes and reads... but will she be able to give up her doll? Big changes, we must embrace them with an open heart.

Built in body koozie

2008-02-26T13:47:00.005-05:00

Even when spending time on vacation- Kelly proves she is a hard working girl. She never takes the easiest route. I think it's obvious to all of us, that she does not have to hold this bottle with her hand. There is another spot in which it would fit perfectly, and allow for easy access...

Kelly has met someone....

2008-02-19T18:48:00.006-05:00

Kelly met a guy on the ship! She said he is in the military- perhaps the Foreign Legion. He has a penchant for business suits and masculine yet classic jewlery. A little effeminate, but he can carry it off, according to Ms. Reinhardt. She said it's magical! They have so much in common! They both love heckling, dancing, karoke, hanging out in the bar, beating the elderly at shuffleboard, and then rubbing it in by jumping and yelling. (Spiking the giant puck is not a good idea, fortunately, Mr. Shuber regained consciousness, and almost full use of his arm) They both love to "holler", strike up conversations with strangers, and wait until the very last minute before reboarding the ship. (The Captain knows Kelly's name... only from hearing it over the intercom) "It's like were are one person" says Kelly... and "he is so attractive!" Also, she loves his booming cackle, his attitude and his crazy hair. Wow! Here is a photo of him.....

Spanish request

2008-02-17T12:18:00.004-05:00

I just received my first transmission from Kelly! She asked me to use my computer and look up some Spanish for her. Just a few simple sayings----
Here they are....
1. "You don't have to pay me."
2. "No, they are not my kids, but I would consider selling them to you."
3. "First things first, what's in it for me?"
4. "Dude! You want to trade shirts?"
5. "Who says 23 margaritas is too many? Who put you in charge of my world Isaac?"
6. "Which way back to my cabin? It's pretty dark outside. Can't you just put your leg back on and walk me there?"
7. "We will dance for you, my sisters and I!"
8. "Which way to the Lido Deck? Is that where the karoke is?"
9. "I think I broke my nail. Is it by any chance in your back?"
10. "Don't worry, Americans always yell!"

Bon Voyage Kelly! A little advice.....

2008-02-14T10:12:00.005-05:00

Kelly and the rest of the women in her family are leaving tomorrow for a relaxing adventure on the high seas. Yes readers! Kelly is leaving the country, and travelling around on a cruise ship. I thought it might be important to give her some advice about how to behave!

1. Kelly, going up to male strangers who are in the water- be it a pool or the ocean- and asking them if they would like to use your "floatation devices" is not an effective pick up line. It wasn't last year in Florida, and it won't be this year on your cruise.

2. A straw hat and a sunburn is not a good look for anyone, anywhere, at any time. Dress accordingly.

3. Using small children as bait to meet men or lonely lesbians is a bad idea, always. You will regret this- every time.

4. Running around a cruise ship and screaming "Captain Stubing.. Oh Merill!" - is also not a good idea. It will only serve to date you. It is okay to call the bartender Isaac.

5. Making out with a cabin boy and feeling dangerous and full of adventure because you might be spotted by your Mother- is just creepy. Spice up your love life in other ways. I am almost sure your Mom will agree with this advice.

6. A "Pina Coloda only" food fast is also not a good plan. Remember to eat.

7. Do not throw anyone over board. Playing on the ships decks can be fun. Do not play any games which involve leaning over the railing, or hanging ship workers over the edge. It may take a while to extradite you, but the cruise ship industry is really focused on having the same number of passengers and crew throughout the entire duration of the cruise. You will be caught!

8. Wearing your best bathing suit, high heels, red lipstick and panty hose is not acceptable for a formal dinner. The food is all inclusive, no need to give your fellow passengers the wrong impression about what you will be willing to do for a little drink or some cake.

9. Have Fun! We will miss you!

Ed's 35th Birthday!

2008-02-13T18:27:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday to Kelly's good friend Ed! Best Wishes! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

I miss the beach

2008-02-12T19:56:00.003-05:00

February, February- Go away! I want to go to the beach. I want to relax in the sun. I want to build sand castles, and squish sand in my toes, and run in the waves with Evan. I want to read a good book in the prone position, while laughing at my friends, wiping sand from my brow, and keeping one eye on the surf and the kids. I want to talk about summer plans, and summer plants and eat cheese and drink water. I want to get so hot that I cannot wait to run into the lake, not caring how many kids are peeing around me. I want to sit by the big yellow rock and dig a hole. I miss you summer! It seems impossible, now during the longest month of the year F-e-b-r-u-a-r-y.... I want to enjoy a fun a day of warmth and... there is something I am forgetting.. Oh yes! I want to video tape Kelly at the beach. I have missed so many opportunities in the past...A yoga demonstration on a beach in Florida last April. Kelly yelling at the children- every year at the beach since any of us have had children. This summer will be glorious- a bag of water and snacks, shovels and buckets, and Evan... friends, and sunscreen... and my camera... ready to catch a video of Kelly- The lighting will be much better!

If only the light was better

2008-02-12T08:32:00.000-05:00

A little more of my mission...

Misinterpretation of current social signals

2008-02-12T08:21:00.000-05:00

This is a photo of Matt, in his stylin' Uggs.... And Kelly in some sort of shiny white sneakers. We could not figure out why she was wearing them. So, we asked her. She said that by wearing this particular pair of shoes, she was letting young, hot men know that she was on the prowl....She also stated that she was confused as to why her obvious "signal" was not working. Kelly! It's called COUGAR, not PUMA!
Disclaimer: These are not Kelly's actual shoes. Kelly is far too young to be a "Cougar" and no animals or small children were harmed during the creation of this blog post.

2008-02-11T12:07:00.000-05:00

Whose side are you on? I suspect you to be an "anonymous source". You have been warned.

You can take the idiot out of Sackets Harbor...

2008-02-11T11:55:00.000-05:00

Kelly to Matt: "Hey! The band is playing the fight song! Let's see if we can start a fight here at the Dome!" Matt: "Okay Kelly, but let's take a close up photo of our faces first, in case we get punched!" Kelly: "Good idea... Let's stir up the guys in front of us. They have had a lot of beer!"

Creepy and Spooky

2008-02-10T15:11:00.000-05:00

Pretty spooky! These are actual photographs that were taken of Kelly yesterday. The first shot is when Kelly and I were firing the cameras at each other. She was trying to block me from gaining any footage of her. Still on her toes, the Guinness can count 7- The next 3 pictures were not altered. Kelly appears to have some sort of white glow around her head. We thought maybe it was the wet snow and moisture playing tricks with my camera. However, the last photo was taken inside. None of the other pictures have any sign of the anomaly. What does it mean? Why does Kelly have a white fuzzy blur around her head? Is she not able to be fully captured on film? It was kind of creepy. It still is..... creepy and mysterious. I will continue in my quest to capture Kelly on video, and figure out why this strange phenomenon with still photographs occurs.

The elusive Idiot

2008-02-10T14:55:00.000-05:00

It was far more difficult to capture Kelly on video than I had anticipated. Kelly, an avid reader of this blog, was aware that I was planning on filming her yesterday. She had her guard up at the party. That was a disappointment to me, as daylight was the optimum time to see Kelly in her glory. I decided to wait. She had brought 10 Guinness with her to the party, and seemed intent on consuming all of them. The afternoon light was fading, and I had to continue in my patient pattern of waiting. Night fell, and we all departed for the Westview. I took several shorts of Kelly while there. The lighting is dark- and I cannot upload content that is considered vulgar or has swearing in it. Kelly swore at me, slapped my camera and ran alot. This is the best of the bunch. I slowly crept to the dance floor, and did get a moment before I was spotted. I wish I could put all the mini-videos on here---- Tommy Gleason's laugh is priceless, and the footage of Meggan and Kelly when they thought I was taking a picture is pretty funny as well. I love how Kelly puts her hand up, like she is being stalked by the paparazzi. Everytime she danced, it was with a different gentleman in snowpants. She was always right in front of the band- Shakin it for the drummer. I plan on continuing in my pursuit of video taping Kelly. It was hard yesterday, there were bushes with no leaves, and barren trees all around. Summer is coming, and with it leaves, and cover--- and Kelly loves to drink beer on the beach. I will not give up!

Phillin' the cup of love

2008-02-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

Kelly had alot of negative things to say about Phil and his behavior regarding the juke box on Superbowl Sunday. I was suspicious. I have discovered that it was all an act! After hiring a small-time private detective, it has been discovered that perhaps Kelly and Phil have had some sort of relationship in the past. Was Kelly really upset about playing the juke box? Or was there more to the story? Is this a case of unrequited love? Rejection? I will keep you posted!

It's like Christmas!

2008-02-08T19:01:00.000-05:00

First of all, Kelly wore this hat as a Christmas Gift to all of her friends. It covered up part of her fabulous hair! So thoughtful....

Tomorrow, we all head to Henderson. Going to Henderson is a bit like Christmas. It is always such a great gathering of friends. Usually, Nick hosts the gathering... Twice in the summer, and once in the winter. Due to his plowing business, he has been unable to hold the party for the past few years. Theresa has decided to throw one herself. We don't know how it will turn out. We ladies generally don't get into the horseshoe throwing. I attempted to play once, and accidentally hit someone with a horseshoe- that was it for me. Both by my own volition, and a request from the victim and his wife. (No, I did not hit him in a spot that would really affect his wife. I hit him near the head.) In any case, I just wanted to express my glee about tomorrow. My husband is home, and will be able to attend with me. The weather looks good. Most of my favorite women will be in attendance. I look forward to laughing a lot, and dancing in the snow, and of course, sneaking around in the bushes- and capturing the elusive Kelly on video. If anyone reads this and wants to attend, just call Kelly and ask for directions. Happy Henderson!

Soon I will have footage

2008-02-08T10:21:00.000-05:00

Bundle up! It is the weekend of the Winter Horseshoe Tourney! There will be no fabulous hair, no wine... no mellow music.... There will be snow pants, canned beer, crazy hats, rocking music, hay bales, a big fire and laughter. I have my camera ready, and I WILL have video footage of Kelly. I am so excited. In years past, there have been interpretations of the Dirty Dancing log dance, people falling off hay bales and air guitaring to Aerosmith. I am hoping Kelly will not let us down this year!

Kelly~Always giving advice about posing

2008-02-07T07:36:00.000-05:00

Words spoken to Kyle just before this photograph was taken~
"Seriously Kyle! If you hold this in your mouth, you will look more attractive to the guys. I once walked around for 6 hours with one in my mouth, and sure enough I got a date.... Of course, I might not have been wearing any pants...."

Help!

2008-02-05T08:34:00.000-05:00

I try to only use subtle inuendo~ I am at a loss. Please, write some comments for the above photographs. Thank You!

Leave my spouse alone!

2008-02-04T13:43:00.000-05:00

Kelly and the "Reinhardt Nation" took my husband out on their super bowl rounds. Brian has been a little overwhelmed lately. I encouraged him to go have fun, let loose, and forget the stress of his job and home life. I asked Kelly to be sure that my husband have a really fun time. I also told her to keep her hands off him. (She has a propensity to grope Brian.) Kelly sent me this photograph this morning. She said she could not help it- she is so hot, that she gave my husband a "heart on". What an Idiot!

Why did he not call?

2008-02-04T13:35:00.000-05:00

"The date went so well! I cannot understand why he did not call me! I did what you said and played hard to get. I also made sure to show he and his friends that I understood the international sign for "love connection" which is sometimes mistaken for "loser". I showed his friends the sign everytime my date came near me. At the beginning of the date, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I did the sign. He looked at me strangely. I was not deterred. I put myself out there! I showed him that I felt our love connection. "

Once again, I am being nice

2008-01-31T15:35:00.000-05:00

Isn't she lovely? This is a great photo of Kelly. She may be an idiot, but she sure is cute.

Kelly takes the children on an adventure

2008-01-31T14:53:00.000-05:00

"Okay Kids! We are headed downtown. I met a guy that loves

children. Have you all had that sip of decongestant I gave you?

Who cares what it tastes like! It will make you calm... you want

this guy to like us right? I may have a couple drinks, but don't

worry! Anyone can drive this car! Evan, you have a motorized

toy vehicle right? Well, you can drive home. Don't have any more

of the medicine Evan! No more sips! Okay, let's go hunt that man!"

Gentle Kelly~ taking kids to the beach

2008-01-30T20:44:00.000-05:00

"GD Kids! I told you to STAY IN THE CIRCLE! I drew you a circle, right in the sand! Stand in it! What is so complicated about that? Jeeeez! When I was a kid, if an adult told you to stand in a circle... you STOOD in the Circle!"
"Listen kids! I told you to stand like little rangers.. like in the army... not Power Rangers- Evan! No pointing Sophie! Look at Henry and Dalton, they are the only two who are LISTENING! Do you want ice cream?? DO YOU? Well line up! Stop looking at me! When I was a kid, we just did as we were told! If an adult told us to line up... we LINED up! Jesus!"

Meggan, Kelly and The Grimmy's!

2008-01-30T13:30:00.000-05:00

Josh stopped by Kelly's Christmas party, in a vain attempt to get the girls to attend mass with him.

Josh: " Any minute, I am going to apply--gentle--pressure..."

Josh: "We have girls in a hotel room! Quick! Take a picture!"

Meggan is really holding Joel up

Are you there God? It's me, Kelly.....

2008-01-28T09:36:00.000-05:00

Are you there God? It's me, Kelly.
I am so scared God. I am afraid that I will be punished for killing so many mice. I have already noticed that my luck is changing. Have you been listening to the Buddhists? I had to kill the mice God, I was afraid they would climb in my bed when I was sleeping. I know that you have helped me in past. In 6th grade, the "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" thing REALLY worked. (And I mean Really!) I am hoping that you will give me a break. I will try not to kill any more mice. Maybe you could tell them to stop coming in my house, or if they do, to keep a low profile. Or, you could cure my fear of mice and all the nasty germs they carry. I have noticed that my bowling game is slipping, my bra is too tight, I have tripped in public on at least 3 occasions, and I actually had a bad hair day this weekend. That was when I knew I was in trouble. Please, don't take my fabulous hair from me, or my breasts. I am trying to be a good girl God. I really am. I have to go now, and Google information about mice, to see if I can alleviate some of my fear. I also have to investigate a cute bus driver I saw in Syracuse over the weekend. I know, I have a Google gift. There are few in the world who could track a random driver via Google, but I can! Thanks for listening God! Thanks for my breasts, and I hope, my continued success with my hair. I will try to be kind to the mice.
Sincerely,
Kelly

Friend~ The small town sitcom

2008-01-25T17:34:00.000-05:00

On this weeks episode of "Friend"....

Kelly tries desperately to enjoy the quiet of her home. She murders mice and other vermin. She attempts to find love on the Internet, but realizes that she has stumbled onto a cross-dressers dating site. She is bummed out that she only got one date, but will enjoy the fashion advice for years to come. Cute Kelly also has a minor car accident, and manages to get a date with the investigating officer... He looks familiar, but she can't put her finger on where she knows him from... After a few hours, and some back seat investigating in the dimly lit Jeep, she remembers... The cross-dressing web site. As always, the cheerful sitcom will leave your belly full of laughter, your heart filled with hope, and your brain overflowing with images of cleavage. That mad cap Kelly! Who knows what happen will next!

Mixology

2008-01-23T19:48:00.000-05:00

This is Kelly's shirt. I can prove this shirt belongs to Kelly, because I bought it for her birthday. This is Meggan, mixing up drinks for one of Kelly's parties. Meggan used to have the same shirt. I guess they were making sure that they would find at least one party guest attractive.

They put 3 gallon jugs of vodka in that 5 gallon container. And then, Kelly wonders why~

1. She starts her party out with 75 martini glasses, but by midnight, there is at least one broken every 4 minutes.

2.Everyone dances at Kelly's parties..

Do she and Meggan really think it is due to their "amazing play list"?

3. At 10 pm, everyone at Kelly's party cannot believe how young, hot and fabulous Everyone is!

4. All guests at Kelly's parties think they CAN dance.
5. She can never identify everyone that is sleeping on her floor the next morning.

6. She gave her cousin her phone number?!!

7. She wrote a poem about how much she loves Josh on her very own bathroom wall, with a sharpie.

8. Her underwear are in the backseat of her car, and her car is at the Legion.

9. She throws parties..

For Sarah Jean...

2008-01-23T12:06:00.000-05:00

Kelly has been behaving very well lately. I got some excellent video of she and Teresa singing a Pearl Jam song after our book club meeting on Friday. However, it was on Kelly's camera. After a couple failed attempts at procuring the footage, I am giving up. I will be sure to carry my camera with me from now on, and I will eventually capture Kelly on video. And so, since I have nothing to offer about Kelly for today, I am going to post another Evan dance video. This is a portion of his interpretation of a song from High School Musical 2. This is for you Sarah!

Under the influence of KELLY

2008-01-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

Mild mannered Guidance Counselor by day~
Loving mother, runner, tax payer, friend, wife~
But once she listens to Kelly...

Kelly and the apron

2008-01-19T18:01:00.000-05:00

Kelly~ I would like for you to stop harassing my husband. The night you took this photograph, a sacred night- Christmas Eve, you asked him repeatedly to remove his shirt. You continually yelled, heckled and coerced him into walking around in JUST his apron. Yes, it was funny. Yes, he looked pretty good in just the apron... However, since then, my mother cannot stop staring at Brian's lap. My father calls him "power thighs", and Meggan has asked him three times where he got the scar on his buttocks. Evan saw a poster advertising the Chippendale Dancers at the store, and now thinks Daddy was on "tour" with them.. in Afghanistan. Eric has called Brian 86 times since Christmas, and Alan just laughs whenever he sees him. I personally find myself feeling rather sensual whenever I see an apron... and as for my lady neighbors, well, they too phone "Bri" and ask him for help at their homes.. at least twice a week. I don't think he will ever get out the wine cork he sat on out. You have changed the way people look at Brian. You, in your reckless, encouraging way, forced my husband into hanging out in a Santa apron for an entire evening. I don't know if my family interaction will ever be the same. Next year, we will not be cooking anything for Christmas Eve. Guests can eat before they come, and if anyone looks at Brian in a creepy or seductive manner, they will be asked to leave the house. I know how you operate Kelly, so why don't you just refrain from attending for a year or two. We need time. We need to heal.

Advice for the kids

2008-01-18T08:05:00.000-05:00

"Now Kids... I am going to tell you some things about life. First of all, when you cross the street- you don't always have to look both ways. The key is to run very fast. Look one way and then just run! As you enter the middle of the road or street, then glance the other way... Speed is the key... Your Mom will tell you differently, but look at me, this is what I do, and I have only been hit by a car once. Also, adults will tell you that studying is very important. It sort of is, but I will share with you one of the keys to having a good life. Hair! Yes children, your hair....."

Where is Ed?

2008-01-16T22:33:00.000-05:00

No comments from Ed! I am surprised. I guess Ed, being a fan and supporter of Kelly, is afraid to read this blog. Ed? Afraid? Of Kelly? Little does Ed know, Kelly reads this blog. She can't really help it, as I phone her every time I create what I perceive to be an especially amusing post. The calls generally go like this-

Kelly: "Hello?"

Kathy: "Hee hee ha haa haa heee! snort"

Kelly: "Are you laughing or crying?"

Kathy: "Laughing! Haa hee hee he haaa" "L oooo he hee k at the blog..."

Kelly: "okay"

Usually, Kelly will laugh out loud. A few times she has not, and then I quickly edit and redirect my creativity towards the post in question. Kelly does not mind this blog... Is it because she has an amazing sense of humor? Or, because she is an idiot? Well, at least she is not afraid, like Ed.

Perfect

2008-01-16T22:29:00.000-05:00

These posters were from Meggan's classroom. We decided to hang them up at Kelly's house. I don't think she got the message. She just kept saying that the Kelly in the picture did not have red hair.

2008-01-16T08:45:00.000-05:00

This guy is thinking~"It's Tree City, Not Bush City...Why is she here?"

What would your shirt say?

2008-01-15T09:05:00.000-05:00

This is a photograph of Kelly and Russ. Russ is wearing one of his favorite shirts... It says "Reckless Kelly". There are lots of men around, and they all seem to wear shirts. I was wondering, if you were wearing a shirt that is reflective of Kelly what would it say?
Thus far, I have seen the a fore mentioned "Reckless Kelly", and "I spent the weekend at Kelly Land and I all I have to show for it is this lousy t-shirt!" Also, a photograph of Kelly superimposed on a shirt front with the heading "What Would Kelly Do?" and on the back it says "Don't!" ~ If you have an idea for a shirt about Kelly, I would really love to hear it!

Divide and Conquer???

2008-01-14T23:22:00.000-05:00

It is a well known fact that Kelly and Meggan are very good friends. They often socialize together. They share feelings, thoughts and plans. Kelly may be an idiot, but she has lots of friends. I was looking through my collection of stolen-from-Kelly's-blog photographs tonight and stumbled upon a troubling discovery.

What is up with Kelly and Ed?

Does Meggan act as Kelly's wing man, and separate Ed and Sharon whenever they are in the presence of Kelly? In all the photographs that I have found, Kelly is alone with Ed. Meanwhile, Meggan is always with Sharon. This is disturbing. Perhaps on some level, subconsciously maybe, I have noticed the strange interaction. Have Meggan and Kelly planned this out before they see Ed and Sharon? Is it intentional? Is there more to this story? Is Kelly a little obsessed with Ed? Or could it be Meggan... obsessed with Sharon?

Good with kids

2008-01-14T19:33:00.000-05:00

I asked Kelly if she would assist in making Evan's birthday cake last year. Not only did she agree, but she invited Evan over to frost it.
Below is what she was wearing when we arrived.... She said Evan could stay and frost for a while. The hat still looked heavy, so I opted to leave Evan with Kelly for an hour. What can I say, babysitters are hard to come by!

A Good, Good Friend

2008-01-14T19:29:00.000-05:00

How many people do you know that are so thoughtful and considerate that they would leave food out for you to eat in the morning.... right in your bed! Most hosts will expect you to go down to the kitchen, or as in this case- meet you in the hotel restaurant for a breakfast buffet. Kelly, being the caring soul that she is, put Christy to bed with her pizza. She knew Christy might wake up in the morning and be hungry.... Plus, Christy did not have to sleep alone!

More Sincerity

2008-01-14T18:23:00.000-05:00

I love Kelly for many reasons, which I stated earlier today. Other people appreciate her for different reasons....

Sincerity

2008-01-14T13:31:00.000-05:00

I have been having a lot of fun poking fun at Kelly for the past few weeks. I was informed this weekend, that a few people thought Kelly had an enemy, who had created this blog, as some sort of retaliatory move. I must inform everyone, that I truly do love Kelly. I appreciate so many things about her. I decided, that although this may be boring, I would create a post about all of things that I treasure about my friend.

This photo was taken last year at my Birthday party. Kelly and Meggan did not know what to get me, so they gave me a "day with them". It was a thoughtful gift, and a few months later when I collected, I appreciated spending time with them. Probably not as much as they thought I would, as their egos are slightly inflated regarding how much fun they actually are. In any case, on the night of my actual birthday, I told Kelly that if she sang for me using the microphone, I would accept this as a wonderful gift. She did. She danced, sang, and made me a cake. She rocked the house, and made me laugh so much that my stomach hurt. That is a true friend... Kelly was one of the biggest supporters of Evan and I, while Brian was deployed last year. She listened to me, helped me move, made me laugh, kept me going, and gave me guidance when I was having any sort of emotional quandary. (I could not always take her advice, because "GUINNESS" is not necessarily the answer for a full time Mother.) So, I am taking a few moments to be sincere. To remind myself, and everyone around me, how lucky we are to have Kelly in our lives. No one makes me laugh more... Very few people are blessed with all the gifts Kelly has~ charm, energy, wit, humor, fabulous hair, compassion, a great heart, faith and the ability to embrace life~ every day. I love you Kelly!

Inspired or Wired?

2008-01-11T10:47:00.000-05:00

I have created so many posts this morning. I will stop for the next 24 hours. I guess I am inspired today, or the coffee that I purchased that said "half the caffeine" really had the regular amount.

Force

2008-01-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

I like to dance.

I will admit, I am not a very

good dancer. Still, I dance.

However, sometimes

I am not in the mood. Kelly

does not like if when you

refrain from dancing at her

house. The night this particular

photo was taken, I went to Kelly's

house to learn more about cooking.

She promised us that she would teach us to create an amazing vegetarian dinner.

This was a guise. As soon as we unsuspecting ladies arrived, Kelly got out the flip cup table cover, and a squirt gun, and ordered us to play. We were all afraid. After all, who knows what Kelly would put in a squirt gun. Bleach? Ammonia? Urine?

So, under duress, we played. Then she yelled "It is time to dance!" Everyone started dancing. Except me. I tried to leave. Kelly caught me, and taped me to her. Yes, she taped me to her. She used her freakishly strong legs, and held me, and wrapped tape all around us. Then, she led me to the dance floor. Yes, I danced. I was afraid.

I don't know if I will ever get over the trauma of being taped to Kelly, and flung around like a rag doll.

This had only happened to me one other time, and it involved a money-making scheme, the promise of some new breasts and an old prom date. I won't go into details, because this blog is called kellyisanidiot, not kathyisanidiot.

Very Clean House

2008-01-11T10:15:00.000-05:00

Most of us are aware that Kelly is a Clean Freak!

This was hanging outside her back door. I guess she found a new way to let the world know that her house is sanitary.

Vito's Dancing Fear

2008-01-11T10:09:00.000-05:00

Vito attended the Mayor's Ball with Kelly last year. During the pre-pre-cocktail hour at Kelly's house, Vito told Kelly that he was a little nervous about attending the ball. He said that he was having an off night.... Usually, he felt the funk, had the jam, was filled with the music. However, on this particular evening, he was not feeling the rhythm.

Kelly told him "Not feeling the rhythm? That's okay! Feel my ass instead."

So he did.

Interprative Dance~ Encouraged by Kelly

2008-01-11T08:27:00.000-05:00

Dancing and encouraging others to do so as well is an important aspect of Kelly's idiocy...
She leads us, sometimes astray~ There is a lot to explore, let us begin....

Eric and Kelly~
Adding some spice and danger to their rendition of "The Safety Dance"
There are so many things going
on in this that are not safe! Unsafe sexual innuendo!
Who dances with wine in their hands?
Holding a partner with a tie and your mouth? Not something I expected from either of these two... in public.

Kelly dancing-
surprisingly, to Dan Hill's touching ballad~

"Sometimes when we touch
The Honesty sssss too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide

I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesssssssssssss"

This was the last company Christmas party that included music and dancing.

Kelly
encouraged
Becky to go for it
during
the playing of
"Dancing With Myself".

She was.

A drawback to spending so much time without pants

2008-01-10T11:18:00.000-05:00

Kelly forgets that she

wearing pants.

Kelly and Eric and Jen~ Their wedding cake

2008-01-09T15:18:00.000-05:00

"Hey Guys... Look at the cake I made! Is it not beautiful? Whats the hurry? I know you were dancing but LOOK AT THIS CAKE! I made it all by myself, and I drove it all the way here... Look at the flowers! We should cut it and feed it to each other.... Careful! I might smash some into your face Eric! Hee-hee hee... This is so fun... Our wedding cake! After we cut the cake, we can go dance together, and then you can make a toast~ to me, and the cake!"

Vito and The Magic Mirror

2008-01-08T15:17:00.000-05:00

Vito:

I hold this up, so when Kelly looks at it, she thinks it is a mirror....
She glances in, and
Can See, For Once~

What it looks like to be FABULOUS!

Aldo Nova~ With a Visual

2008-01-07T19:59:00.000-05:00

Kelly and I were talking on the phone the other night, and the subject of Aldo Nova and the song "Fantasy" came up. She said she was going to put it on her blog. She mocked me and said that I probably did not know how to upload video yet. Lying on my bed, I told her that I did, and was already at the computer, finding Aldo Nova and putting it on kellyisanidiot.blogspot! I even tapped my fingers against the phone, asking Kelly if she could hear the typing. "Ha!" She yelled in response, "I beat you! I already posted it!" I continued to lounge, and said, "Kelly, you are so speedy, and no match for me..."

Later, Evan and I checked out the blog. We listened to a little of the classic tune, Fantasy. Evan loved it! He was jamming out so much, that I decided, if Evan was agreeable, to video tape his air guitaring. I forgot during the taping, that he is in the one room in my house which is a disaster! It is our guest room/office. The ironing board is out, various papers scattered- from my classes, and also due to the fact that tax season is coming up. Also, random laundry and junk, junk, junk.... Oh well! I have decided to post it anyway. Judge me if you will~ I have a "stuffing room". I, apparently come by it genetically, and have managed to go into remission on occasion, but this one room always returns to disarray. So, watch Evan's Aldo Nova jam- But, Please, don't judge me!

Dickey~ Captured on film

2008-01-07T10:28:00.000-05:00

Dear Kelly,

I am sort of mad at you. Last week, at your party, you made me look like an idiot. First of all, I was hanging out, and taller than that dude you took a photo of me with. You told him to stand on a chair, so that he appeared to be taller than me. Secondly, I was having a rocking hair day. My part was concise and my hair was shiny. You told me I needed to put on a hat.

Thirdly, I showed that short dude a finger pose, so he could look cool in the picture. We were doing it in unison, in tandem man. I had accepted the whole chair thing, and the hat thing.. fine, some guys need a little help when standing by the Dick Man--- so I was fine with it, all of it. But, then, right when you were about to take the picture, you just had to yell out- "Dickey, How old are you? " Just to confuse me. You knew I would feel compelled to answer. Click, you took the picture. Hat, chair, click - F. I am not very happy with you. I just wanted you to know that.

Sincerely,

Dickey

Kelly helps Sarah learn to pose for photos! Before and After Shots

2008-01-07T09:08:00.000-05:00

Kelly decided that Sarah Jean needed some help posing for photos. She informed her she needed some work. Kelly gave Sarah some advice. After a difficult afternoon practicing, Sarah had a new outlook on presenting herself for photographs.

Ring-Ring~ Sarah: "Hello"

Kelly: "Hi Sarah! Have you been practicing? I will probably take pictures tonight, and I really don't want you to look like an idiot anymore!"

Sarah: "Oh Kelly, I am ready! My Mom says I look stupid in the positions you told me to pose in, but I know you are a good friend, and she is just being old fashioned!" "I am ready! See you tonight!"

Kelly: "Okay, but use my advice, and don't act like an idiot!"

Clarification

2008-01-05T17:18:00.000-05:00

There is no splinter group. There are no haters.

I love you Kelly, and am only having a little fun! Kelly, you know this...

You are also getting a little cocky about your hair. Your hair is not perfect. I have chosen a few reminders. There are many more. Your hair, like you, is subject to mood swings~

Special Friend

2008-01-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

Kelly has a special friend~ She takes her everywhere~

She has so much in common with her~

From her fingers to her hair~

Kelly loves her special friend~

She listens oh so well~

She smiles her creepy smile and never ever tells~

The secrets Kelly shares with her, or what she sees by Kelly's bed~ She keeps the visions private, in her pale and plastic head~

She too claims to be a vegetarian and does not compete for boys~

except one night when Kelly's date~ had a thing for toys....

Just plain old phone sex is for the common folk

2008-01-03T11:25:00.000-05:00

There is phone sex....

and then there is.. .

Head Phone Sex

Resolutions for 2008

2008-01-02T09:24:00.000-05:00

Kelly's New Years Resolutions

Stop accepting collect phone calls from anyone who is incarcerated, no matter how soon their release date is!

Keep in touch with old friends, even the one's I don't remember.

Keep a journal of my everyday life, so I can remember who I love, what has happened and if I actually went to work.

Be Nice to Kathy!

Stop conditioning my hair ~ It's not fair my hair always looks better than everyone else.

Have a mediocre hair day every once in a while, so my friends have hope!

Be a better driver! Remember~ There is a line in the middle of the road for a reason!

Offer to babysit for my sisters and all my friends with children! Send them out to dinner, to the movies.... I will feel so good about myself! I will be a positive influence on all the kids in my life!

Shovel my driveway~ or at least hire someone to plow.

Take back my own returnables!

If I kiss him, I must know his name!

Kelly Is an Asset to our soldiers!

2008-01-02T08:55:00.000-05:00

Kelly lends her support to our troops!

Kelly and Ike~ Friends

2007-12-30T21:13:00.000-05:00

Kelly: "Ike! You look so cool!"

Ike: "Are you sure Kelly?"

Kelly: "Of course I am sure Ike!" "What kind of a person do you think I am? You look awesome!"

Ike: "Well Kelly, You do have a job, and a house and a car.... What was I thinking? Of course I can trust you! Thanks Kelly! You are a good friend."

Kelly: "Oh Ike! You're Welcome!"

Solving a Problem... Idiot or Genius???

2007-12-30T14:09:00.000-05:00

Genius or Idiot? You decide...

Many of us have experienced the problem of losing our drink at a party. I know that I have done it on several occasions. This can cause problems for the host, because it adds to the mess in the morning. Most people that host a party, hate dumping out smelly beer cans and half consumed drinks the next morning. I don't know from personal experience, but have heard that some hosts are hung over in the morning, and it is the smell that really bothers them.
It appears that Kelly found a way to keep track of her drink for the evening. This is a Colt 45 bottle, and as you can see- it is duct taped to her hand. She even drove like this. Don't worry, it was before she finished the drink. Meggan had to help her shift and steer. What a good friend.

The Man in Florida

2007-12-27T18:33:00.000-05:00

I travelled to Anna Maria Island with Kelly this year. She spent a lot of time hanging out with Vito, and drinking some sort of tropical drink, which I can only assume contained alcohol. This is a photo of the man she followed down the beach just before sunset. She thought he was so hot, and also stated that she was suprised at how fast he could walk. She did finally catch him. He came to dinner with us that night. Things did not work out. I am not sure if it was due to the fact that Kelly sobered up, or because the man had to be taken away by ambulance. If you look next to Kelly's fireplace, she has his walking stick. I am not sure if they still keep in touch.

Trying to report her to the authorities

2007-12-27T11:44:00.000-05:00

This is me. It was a lovely summer day. My husband, son and I went to Main Street to watch a parade. I spotted a disturbing thing....

Kelly, at the parade! Guess what? She was not wearing any pants!!!

I snuck across the street, and attempted to call the authorities. This photo was taken as I was waiting for the operator to take the report. Do you see the phone in my hand? I was a little afraid. The photograph does not capture how much I was shaking. Kelly caught me! She took my phone, threw it on the sidewalk and stomped on it. She told me that this was her town and I should be careful.

I did not have a very good time at the parade after that. Kelly told me if I mentioned the incident to anyone, I would be sorry!

The strangest thing was that so many people were there, and no one else seemed to notice or react to the fact that Kelly was not wearing any pants.

No Pants

2007-12-27T11:34:00.000-05:00

Kelly really does have a problem!
Now that I have started exploring pictures, and my memories- I cannot believe how many times she has gone out without any pants!

She is hiding in the back of this picture because, once again... No Pants!

She danced later, but ran and hid in the porto pottie when we tried to capture her image...

Do you have any pictures of Kelly out on the town with no pants? Send them in!

Missing Facts

2007-12-26T21:26:00.000-05:00

Kelly told you all about when she hit a deer on Route 3....

I think she left out a few facts. This photo was taken just prior to the crash.

2007-12-26T21:24:00.001-05:00

Once Again...

Kelly is hiding behind the other girls in this picture because she is not wearing any pants!

See Kelly?

2007-12-26T21:03:00.000-05:00

The reason that Kelly is hiding behind all of the other girls in this picture is because she is naked!

Why?

2007-12-26T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is my Mother. Once Kelly tried to follow her in the bathroom and look at her breasts.

What an idiot!

Idiot~

2007-12-26T20:32:00.000-05:00

This is Kelly. She was with MY friend Stacey. Kelly tried to steal my friend Stacey. She also tried to touch her breast. She did not succeed on either front.

What an Idiot!

No One Cares About Kelly's Blog!

2007-12-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

Now that this blog exists... No one has to read Kelly's blog anymore~

Notice the shirts we wore to Kelly's party...

No One Cares About Your Blog!

Kelly and her breasts

2007-12-26T20:17:00.000-05:00

Kelly always tries to make her boobs look bigger than anyone else~~~

Coersion

2007-12-26T20:12:00.000-05:00

Kelly sometimes tricks people into joining in on her idiocy. This particular photos shows her, Josh and Meggan-

Josh and Meggan thought they were going out for a Saint Patrick's drink. Little did they know, they were being photographed for the cover a newpaper insert.

Not only does Kelly look like an idiot, but she tricks others into looking like idiots along with her. It is important when spending time with Kelly to pay attention to what you are doing.....

Kelly the artist

2007-12-26T20:10:00.000-05:00

This is a picture Kelly drew one night... We told her to write down the most important facts about her dream man! This is what she drew...

Kelly Is an Idiot

2007-12-26T20:04:00.000-05:00

KELLY....

Kelly makes me laugh... but sometimes she makes me mad. I have grown tired of bad photos of myself and others on her blog. I have finally had it- due to the fact that Kelly posted a posed picture of me on a bar- and said that I was actually passed out on the bar.... I am an adult, a Mother, A Wife, and yes, sometimes I like to have fun... but to insinuate that I would pass out on a bar, too much.

We have all joked about making up a blog about Kelly and her idiocy, well- the time has come- it really exists! Everyone join in- document strange things anytime you see Kelly doing them! Take Pictures! Send stories....

Happy Posting!