Built in body koozie

Even when spending time on vacation- Kelly proves she is a hard working girl. She never takes the easiest route. I think it's obvious to all of us, that she does not have to hold this bottle with her hand. There is another spot in which it would fit perfectly, and allow for easy access...

Kelly has met someone....

Kelly met a guy on the ship! She said he is in the military- perhaps the Foreign Legion. He has a penchant for business suits and masculine yet classic jewlery. A little effeminate, but he can carry it off, according to Ms. Reinhardt. She said it's magical! They have so much in common! They both love heckling, dancing, karoke, hanging out in the bar, beating the elderly at shuffleboard, and then rubbing it in by jumping and yelling. (Spiking the giant puck is not a good idea, fortunately, Mr. Shuber regained consciousness, and almost full use of his arm) They both love to "holler", strike up conversations with strangers, and wait until the very last minute before reboarding the ship. (The Captain knows Kelly's name... only from hearing it over the intercom) "It's like were are one person" says Kelly... and "he is so attractive!" Also, she loves his booming cackle, his attitude and his crazy hair. Wow! Here is a photo of him.....

Spanish request

I just received my first transmission from Kelly! She asked me to use my computer and look up some Spanish for her. Just a few simple sayings----
Here they are....
1. "You don't have to pay me."
2. "No, they are not my kids, but I would consider selling them to you."
3. "First things first, what's in it for me?"
4. "Dude! You want to trade shirts?"
5. "Who says 23 margaritas is too many? Who put you in charge of my world Isaac?"
6. "Which way back to my cabin? It's pretty dark outside. Can't you just put your leg back on and walk me there?"
7. "We will dance for you, my sisters and I!"
8. "Which way to the Lido Deck? Is that where the karoke is?"
9. "I think I broke my nail. Is it by any chance in your back?"
10. "Don't worry, Americans always yell!"

Bon Voyage Kelly! A little advice.....

Kelly and the rest of the women in her family are leaving tomorrow for a relaxing adventure on the high seas. Yes readers! Kelly is leaving the country, and travelling around on a cruise ship. I thought it might be important to give her some advice about how to behave!

1. Kelly, going up to male strangers who are in the water- be it a pool or the ocean- and asking them if they would like to use your "floatation devices" is not an effective pick up line. It wasn't last year in Florida, and it won't be this year on your cruise.

2. A straw hat and a sunburn is not a good look for anyone, anywhere, at any time. Dress accordingly.

3. Using small children as bait to meet men or lonely lesbians is a bad idea, always. You will regret this- every time.

4. Running around a cruise ship and screaming "Captain Stubing.. Oh Merill!" - is also not a good idea. It will only serve to date you. It is okay to call the bartender Isaac.

5. Making out with a cabin boy and feeling dangerous and full of adventure because you might be spotted by your Mother- is just creepy. Spice up your love life in other ways. I am almost sure your Mom will agree with this advice.

6. A "Pina Coloda only" food fast is also not a good plan. Remember to eat.

7. Do not throw anyone over board. Playing on the ships decks can be fun. Do not play any games which involve leaning over the railing, or hanging ship workers over the edge. It may take a while to extradite you, but the cruise ship industry is really focused on having the same number of passengers and crew throughout the entire duration of the cruise. You will be caught!

8. Wearing your best bathing suit, high heels, red lipstick and panty hose is not acceptable for a formal dinner. The food is all inclusive, no need to give your fellow passengers the wrong impression about what you will be willing to do for a little drink or some cake.

9. Have Fun! We will miss you!

Ed's 35th Birthday!

Happy Birthday to Kelly's good friend Ed! Best Wishes! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

I miss the beach

February, February- Go away! I want to go to the beach. I want to relax in the sun. I want to build sand castles, and squish sand in my toes, and run in the waves with Evan. I want to read a good book in the prone position, while laughing at my friends, wiping sand from my brow, and keeping one eye on the surf and the kids. I want to talk about summer plans, and summer plants and eat cheese and drink water. I want to get so hot that I cannot wait to run into the lake, not caring how many kids are peeing around me. I want to sit by the big yellow rock and dig a hole. I miss you summer! It seems impossible, now during the longest month of the year F-e-b-r-u-a-r-y.... I want to enjoy a fun a day of warmth and... there is something I am forgetting.. Oh yes! I want to video tape Kelly at the beach. I have missed so many opportunities in the past...A yoga demonstration on a beach in Florida last April. Kelly yelling at the children- every year at the beach since any of us have had children. This summer will be glorious- a bag of water and snacks, shovels and buckets, and Evan... friends, and sunscreen... and my camera... ready to catch a video of Kelly- The lighting will be much better!

If only the light was better

A little more of my mission...

Misinterpretation of current social signals

This is a photo of Matt, in his stylin' Uggs.... And Kelly in some sort of shiny white sneakers. We could not figure out why she was wearing them. So, we asked her. She said that by wearing this particular pair of shoes, she was letting young, hot men know that she was on the prowl....She also stated that she was confused as to why her obvious "signal" was not working. Kelly! It's called COUGAR, not PUMA!
Disclaimer: These are not Kelly's actual shoes. Kelly is far too young to be a "Cougar" and no animals or small children were harmed during the creation of this blog post.

Whose side are you on? I suspect you to be an "anonymous source". You have been warned.

You can take the idiot out of Sackets Harbor...

Kelly to Matt: "Hey! The band is playing the fight song! Let's see if we can start a fight here at the Dome!" Matt: "Okay Kelly, but let's take a close up photo of our faces first, in case we get punched!" Kelly: "Good idea... Let's stir up the guys in front of us. They have had a lot of beer!"

Creepy and Spooky

Pretty spooky! These are actual photographs that were taken of Kelly yesterday. The first shot is when Kelly and I were firing the cameras at each other. She was trying to block me from gaining any footage of her. Still on her toes, the Guinness can count 7- The next 3 pictures were not altered. Kelly appears to have some sort of white glow around her head. We thought maybe it was the wet snow and moisture playing tricks with my camera. However, the last photo was taken inside. None of the other pictures have any sign of the anomaly. What does it mean? Why does Kelly have a white fuzzy blur around her head? Is she not able to be fully captured on film? It was kind of creepy. It still is..... creepy and mysterious. I will continue in my quest to capture Kelly on video, and figure out why this strange phenomenon with still photographs occurs.

The elusive Idiot

It was far more difficult to capture Kelly on video than I had anticipated. Kelly, an avid reader of this blog, was aware that I was planning on filming her yesterday. She had her guard up at the party. That was a disappointment to me, as daylight was the optimum time to see Kelly in her glory. I decided to wait. She had brought 10 Guinness with her to the party, and seemed intent on consuming all of them. The afternoon light was fading, and I had to continue in my patient pattern of waiting. Night fell, and we all departed for the Westview. I took several shorts of Kelly while there. The lighting is dark- and I cannot upload content that is considered vulgar or has swearing in it. Kelly swore at me, slapped my camera and ran alot. This is the best of the bunch. I slowly crept to the dance floor, and did get a moment before I was spotted. I wish I could put all the mini-videos on here---- Tommy Gleason's laugh is priceless, and the footage of Meggan and Kelly when they thought I was taking a picture is pretty funny as well. I love how Kelly puts her hand up, like she is being stalked by the paparazzi. Everytime she danced, it was with a different gentleman in snowpants. She was always right in front of the band- Shakin it for the drummer. I plan on continuing in my pursuit of video taping Kelly. It was hard yesterday, there were bushes with no leaves, and barren trees all around. Summer is coming, and with it leaves, and cover--- and Kelly loves to drink beer on the beach. I will not give up!

Phillin' the cup of love

Kelly had alot of negative things to say about Phil and his behavior regarding the juke box on Superbowl Sunday. I was suspicious. I have discovered that it was all an act! After hiring a small-time private detective, it has been discovered that perhaps Kelly and Phil have had some sort of relationship in the past. Was Kelly really upset about playing the juke box? Or was there more to the story? Is this a case of unrequited love? Rejection? I will keep you posted!

It's like Christmas!

First of all, Kelly wore this hat as a Christmas Gift to all of her friends. It covered up part of her fabulous hair! So thoughtful....



Tomorrow, we all head to Henderson. Going to Henderson is a bit like Christmas. It is always such a great gathering of friends. Usually, Nick hosts the gathering... Twice in the summer, and once in the winter. Due to his plowing business, he has been unable to hold the party for the past few years. Theresa has decided to throw one herself. We don't know how it will turn out. We ladies generally don't get into the horseshoe throwing. I attempted to play once, and accidentally hit someone with a horseshoe- that was it for me. Both by my own volition, and a request from the victim and his wife. (No, I did not hit him in a spot that would really affect his wife. I hit him near the head.) In any case, I just wanted to express my glee about tomorrow. My husband is home, and will be able to attend with me. The weather looks good. Most of my favorite women will be in attendance. I look forward to laughing a lot, and dancing in the snow, and of course, sneaking around in the bushes- and capturing the elusive Kelly on video. If anyone reads this and wants to attend, just call Kelly and ask for directions. Happy Henderson!

Soon I will have footage

Bundle up! It is the weekend of the Winter Horseshoe Tourney! There will be no fabulous hair, no wine... no mellow music.... There will be snow pants, canned beer, crazy hats, rocking music, hay bales, a big fire and laughter. I have my camera ready, and I WILL have video footage of Kelly. I am so excited. In years past, there have been interpretations of the Dirty Dancing log dance, people falling off hay bales and air guitaring to Aerosmith. I am hoping Kelly will not let us down this year!

Kelly~Always giving advice about posing

Words spoken to Kyle just before this photograph was taken~
"Seriously Kyle! If you hold this in your mouth, you will look more attractive to the guys. I once walked around for 6 hours with one in my mouth, and sure enough I got a date.... Of course, I might not have been wearing any pants...."

Help!

I try to only use subtle inuendo~ I am at a loss. Please, write some comments for the above photographs. Thank You!

Leave my spouse alone!

Kelly and the "Reinhardt Nation" took my husband out on their super bowl rounds. Brian has been a little overwhelmed lately. I encouraged him to go have fun, let loose, and forget the stress of his job and home life. I asked Kelly to be sure that my husband have a really fun time. I also told her to keep her hands off him. (She has a propensity to grope Brian.) Kelly sent me this photograph this morning. She said she could not help it- she is so hot, that she gave my husband a "heart on". What an Idiot!

Why did he not call?

"The date went so well! I cannot understand why he did not call me! I did what you said and played hard to get. I also made sure to show he and his friends that I understood the international sign for "love connection" which is sometimes mistaken for "loser". I showed his friends the sign everytime my date came near me. At the beginning of the date, he gave me a kiss on the cheek, and I did the sign. He looked at me strangely. I was not deterred. I put myself out there! I showed him that I felt our love connection. "